Lost
LostVirtually everything I have done in my life has been an attempt to gain self-esteem from other people. Starting when I was proud of my intelligence rather than arrogant about it, I have evolved a mindset which locates identity in praise, straining to please. Crying, I thought, “I am special – Katie would tell me so”. I can only rarely be secure with the one I love because I am constantly trying to be more perfect for him than I am. These are the facts, uncompromising, stark. I love being entirely alone with my words, but society will not allow it. I don’t know how this is going to change.
Disturbing the dust on a bowl of rose leaves
The way I feel today - 10 July 2004
Just seventeen - 17 March 2004
Roads to freedom - 25 February 2004
Confessions of a failed self-harmer - 25 February 2004
Manchester, united - 25 February 2004